I’ve been gone forever! Amazing what the thrills and woes of pregnancy do to you — random bursts of energy that runs you through three grocery stores to pick up ingredients for a random dessert, or the lowest of lows keeping you on the couch for a never ending Rizzoli and Isles marathon. One place it did keep me away from was the computer; with back pain, discomfort, blurry vision and my prenatal version of ADD I did not have the patience to sit at a computer desk.
Makes me kind of sad that I didn’t document as much of my second and third trimester as I wanted. I thought it would be better to live in the moment and experience things as they came along instead of documenting everything to the tee (which I used to do, to the tune of 3 blogs, 1 Tumblr and 2 Twitter feeds). But instead of an independence from obsessive-compulsive-documentation disorder, life just passed by in a whirlwind. Somehow I’m here in my 37th week, as huge as a whale, waiting impatiently for the next chapter in my life.
So anyways, let’s track back a little and attempt to make up for the past couple of months. Here are a few more things I’ve learned about pregnancy thus far.
The glowing thing. What did I say after the first trimester? Hopefully something about what a sham this is. Pregnant women don’t glow. They overproduce oil until they are forced to make an emergency run to the cosmetics counter to pick up some oil-blotting paper, and obsessively use 2-3 sheets at a time, because that’s how oily my face is!
Your utility bills go up. What happens when you flush the toilet every half hour? Your water bill goes up. What happens when your overheated pregnant body insists on keeping the A/C on full blast, especially now that you’re stuck at home on bed rest? Your electricity bill doubles. Yay.
Stretch marks are real. When I bought my first tube of tummy rub my mom laughed at me, “We don’t get stretch marks! It’s an Asian thing!” But still, after every shower I religiously slathered on Mustela’s Stretch Marks Double Action. Around week 34 I ran out and told myself, maybe my mom is right! I don’t need stretch mark cream! Around week 36 my first stretch marks made their appearance. Needless to say, I am back to religiously slathering on that stuff.
You think they fit. You continue to wear your old, pre-pregnancy under things and PJ’s. No one sees me in these anyway! Sure, they’re a little tight… Then one day while folding laundry you hold up your favorite sleep shorts and realize the elastic is busted. Hey, the elastic is busted on this other one too. Hmm, I’m sure this tank wasn’t this out of shape. Advice: buy maternity under things and sleeping things, your wardrobe will not appreciate being stretched out of shape!